Adam and I had been living in the UK for almost five years when we got pregnant with Juno. Shortly after announcing our news, the question of whether we’d move home to New Zealand became a common one among our friends, family and colleagues.
We couldn’t really be living further away from our families, so I do understand why people might’ve thought we would pack everything up and head home.
The pull of home
New Zealand certainly has its upsides with its relaxed lifestyle, picturesque beaches and landscape, and progressive political leadership (for now, at least).
And of course it’s home to Juno’s loving grandparents, a great grandmother, most of her aunties and uncles, and one cousin – soon to be two. Not to mention a handful of good friends, some who have now had beautiful babies of their own.
To add more kudos to the country, as it stands, New Zealand is free of coronavirus – at least outside of its quarantine facilities where returning citizens must isolate for two weeks in a government-managed hotel upon arrival into the country (the borders are closed for anyone else).
This is great for many residents who are now able to enjoy the restaurants, bars, beaches and mountains that New Zealand is renowned for, without having to share with the millions of international tourists that typically flock to our beautiful islands in the South Pacific, too. Though many of the travel operators are understandably less enamoured.
Update 11 August: 4 cases confirmed in South Auckland
The grass isn’t always greener
While it has many positives, New Zealand is far from perfect. It suffers from tall poppy syndrome, where people are all too often criticised and brought down by the masses if they’re too successful. At least until they do well enough to win an Oscar, be nominated for a Grammy, or get mentioned by a US talk show host.
This tall poppy attitude became even more evident recently when a seemingly large proportion of the “team of five million” turned against its citizens who had chosen to move overseas – a right of passage for so many Kiwis – and who were now wanting to head home to safe harbour amid the coronavirus pandemic.
Some strange commentary made out that anyone who had made it overseas was automatically deemed “successful” and wealthier than the rest. While in reality, many had jobs that paid no better than ones they’d get in New Zealand. Others had lost their jobs, been stranded in foreign countries, became ill, or just needed the comfort of home.
Last time I checked, it was their birthright to come home. So when the government announced it would be charging citizens $3,000 for the cost of their two-week quarantine on their return to their home country, we voiced our dismay. But in quick succession, the vitriol ensued and some might say many New Zealanders back home showed their true colours.
Someone actually tweeted this (though the tweet now appears to have been deleted):
“What utter entitled scumbags. I hope you all catch COVID and die a horrific death from it, because the world would be a better place without you.”
Here’s a collection of vitriolic comments shared by journalist in London, Lloyd Burr, for your perusal if you’d like to see some more.
Others Kiwis back home seemed to feel like they were the only ones to have sacrificed anything during this whole experience, as if we hadn’t too been making sacrifices abroad. Many of us spent months in lockdown worried for our health and safety, in part due to our countries of residence being led by a collection of buffoons.
The rhetoric from New Zealand has been disheartening to say the least, and I must say it has discouraged me from considering a move home for the time being. I want to visit, because that’s where our family is, I’d like them to meet Juno, and I’d quite like to actually spend some time on a beach over summer.
But recent events have revealed an unmistakable short-sightedness and close-mindedness among so many Kiwis, which makes moving home to join them wholly unappealing. And before you say it, yes, I know, #NotAllKiwis.
And while the country has done well to contain coronavirus, it’s still faced with economic struggles. A recent report showed that 11,000 jobs were lost during the June quarter (and 90% of those who lost their jobs were women, what the hell?). Plus the country is faced with a ‘severely unaffordable’ housing market. Yet somehow more than 30,000 Kiwis returning home need to find themselves a job and a place to live. Forgive me for not wanting to compete with that.
At home in London
It is funny though how people still think “home”, where their extended family is, is the right place to start a family. Maybe deep down I think that too, but for now, home for us is London.
We have a life here now – our careers, our friends, an apartment (albeit, rented), and the ability to get on the property ladder without selling a kidney. And let’s face it, London (when there’s not a pandemic, at least) is awesome: gigs, festivals and theatre coming out of our ears; great restaurants; green parks for play and exploring; pubs on every corner (most of which are baby friendly); and Europe on our doorstep.
Like any country it has its downsides, with Boris and Brexit. But the grass is not always greener on the other side.
And while New Zealand may be harder to get to right now, it’s not going anywhere. Hopefully. It’ll always be our true home and we’ll be back one day with Juno... if we can battle our way past the pitchforks.